Archive for the Ghost/Demon Category

All The Single Ladies…

Posted in Ghost/Demon with tags , , , , , on January 28, 2018 by dtrain1008



Yep, I put some rings on it! It being the television, that is. Hello everyone, and welcome back to another installment of the Unholy Cathedral. If you’re one of my loyal Deadites, I’m sending you a big Undead Boo Ya from the grave. Here is the Boo Ya.


If you’re a newcomer to this blog, then welcome! I’m hoping you’ll enjoy the reviews. If you’re liking what you’re seeing, be sure to Unleash Hell at the top right, and these posts will go straight to your inbox. And trust me, they’re far from frequent, so I promise you won’t be annoyed. Okay.. Administrative silliness complete. Let’s go to the business end of the blog (side note… as I wrote that, all I could think about is a mullet or a gun. But then I realized both of those things are awesome, so this blog must also be awesome).

I’ll say it. The Ring will always be one of my favorite scary movies. Granted, I was much much younger when I saw it for the first time in theaters. But that’s the only movie that I literally ran out of the theater. That iconic scene at the end was so effing scary the first time I saw it, that I’ll never forget those chills. AU CONTRAIRE… then The Ring Two came out. And boy was this a steaming pile of suck. But years later, Hollywood deemed it time for another shot at this franchise, with a fresh look, a new cast, and an off-shoot story. I wasn’t entirely optimistic, but I was keeping an open mind. So let’s see where round 3 takes us, starting with the trailer.

Rings is the story of a young girl whose boyfriend goes away to college, and she gets all emotional about it, and starts whining, and these damn millennials these days, and… Okay kidding. Kind of. But after her boyfriend goes away to school, he abruptly disappears from all contact. So in a panic, she makes the long drive to see him, to find that something has happened. A stranger is telling her that her boyfriend is going to die, and soon she becomes entangled in the worst “club” imaginable. Jinkies!

 Go grab some corpse-y well water, and let’s dive in for A Closer Look

Villain: Samara, the evil spirit of some dead girl

How Do I Stop It?: Don’t watch creep-ass untitled movies. Stick to the movies that, you know, have titles.

Lessons Learned: My goodness. This whole story is pretty asenine, if I may say so. First of all, if you’re a college professor who discovers a sinister evil spirit that KILLS PEOPLE, perhaps you shouldn’t be entrapping your students to work on a thesis about it. But because it’s Johnny Galecki, I’m not surprised. Also, if you become aware of what’s happening, and all you have to do is not watch the movie, like, *pause for Ultimate Unholy Face palm* DONT WATCH THE MOVIE YOU STUPID GIRL. /end rant

Who Do I Watch With?: This one is pretty manageable for casual fans of horror, but I’d recommend watching with someone who’s at least familiar with the earlier movies.

Movie Trivia: Originally set for release in November 2015, the film was pushed back several times due to studio delays. It was finally released in 2017, almost 2 years after the original shooting occurred. Also, according to special makeup effects designer on the film, Arjen Tuiten, it took about 6 and a half hours to complete Samara’s makeup and her costume featured a water rig under the dress that allowed the character to constantly drip water.

Rating the Flick

Villain: 5/10. Samara is a pretty creepy ghost, no doubt about it. The problem for me is that it’s a lot of the same stuff. There’s not many new tricks to scare us this time around, and it stands out.

Scare Factor: 5/10. For the uninitiated, this is likely still a pretty creepy movie. The tone is moderately dark, and there’s some decent jump scares throughout. But if you’re familiar with The Ring, this is a far cry from the terror of the original.

Gore Rating: Slightly Bloody Machete (2/5)


It’s not extremely bloody, but there’s a few parts that are tough to watch. It’s been a long time since we’ve had a really gory movie on here. Accepting recommendations.

Overall Rating: 2/5 Queen Beys


Can we agree that Bizarro Beyonce is freaking creepy? Anyway, Rings was closer to The Ring Two than The Ring in terms of being a solid movie. The story was just silly, and there are some pretty big plot holes, in my mind. I admittedly jumped once or twice throughout, but as a whole, it’s not so great. May I recommend the latest Insidious movie instead, if you’re looking for some scares? See my last post for a review!

Anyway, that’s going to wrap up this edition of The Unholy Cathedral. As always, thanks to everyone who subscribes to this blog and has supported it over the years. We’re still limping along, but the horror isn’t stopping. So be sure to stay tuned for more spine-tingling commentary in the coming months.

Until next time, SEVEN DAYS.





Posted in Ghost/Demon with tags , , , , on January 13, 2018 by dtrain1008


Insidious: The Last Key

Greetings, my loyal Deadites, and welcome once again to another installment of the Unholy Cathedral. I hope everyone had a rotten Christmas and a horrifying New Year. Something happened in the last few weeks. Hell literally froze over. Just look outside. That is, unless you’re one of those warm-climate elitist deadites, in which case I shake my skeleton fist directly at you. AAAAnyway, let’s grind into the meat & bones of this blog, and talk about a fresh new movie in theaters right now: Insidious: The Last Key.

This is the 4th installment in the Insidious universe, and the old lady that’s seemingly in a ton of horror movies is back, trying to get rid of some evil spirits. Before we get into this chapter, let’s reflect on the previous Insidious movies. The first installment introduced us  to the terrifying screeching violins, and then gave us creepy spirits, and a wacky demon that was terrorizing a little kid. I gave it a 4/5 (way back in 2011!!!). Then came Insidious Chapter 2, which brought us the horrifying veiled old woman. Really scary stuff there, also earning a 4/5 from me. The franchise was off to a really strong start, until the third chapter. Insidious 3 went a little off the beaten path, and gave us the old man with the oxygen mask. It was a step back, and only earned a 3/5 rating. So I went into this one tentatively optimistic. Critics are giving this one poor reviews, but at the end of the day, it’s still a strong franchise. So let’s get into this latest chapter, in theaters now.

Insidious: The Last Key is a story centered around Elise (yes, that lady again). This time, we take a deeper look at her back-story. Her troubled past with an abusive father, combined with her early realization that she had a special ability to connect with the dead. Now, in the later years of her life, she uses those abilities to help others facing paranormal issues. But things turn awry when she receives a call from someone at an ominous address– her childhood home. Now she must confront all of the demons of her past… both living and dead. Eek (not the cat).

Get out your photo albums. We’re going back in time for A Closer Look.

Villain: An evil demon known to possess the inhabitants of a house to do sinister deeds.

How Do I Stop It?: Let’s just agree that you don’t want to encounter this guy. If you do, you won’t know it, and you’re going to become a much much worse person. Maybe it’s time to start a Deadite Buddy System. Let’s keep an eye on each other, people.

Lessons Learned: First thing’s first. When someone calls for help with some evil spirits, you can’t make too many assumptions about that person’s behaviors. That’s the easy one. But here’s the bigger lesson learned. And this is purely hypothetical, trust me. Let’s say your long-lost childhood friend shows up, and shows you a close memoir that you had lost years ago. And you decide to go get it, but in order to find it, you have to go into your childhood home, the place of horrible memories, and IT IS NOW A CRIME SCENE. If that’s the case, maybe just DON’T DO THAT YOU FREAKING IDIOT. *pulling hair out*

Who Do I Watch With?: The Insidious franchise really capitalizes on the paranormal/spiritual side of horror. So be sure to watch with someone who can take it seriously and enjoy it.

Movie Trivia: Not much trivia here, at least from IMDB. The only somewhat interesting fact is that this is actually a prequel to the first installment, and the end leads directly into Insidious.

Rating the Flick

Villain: 7/10. The baddie in this movie is pretty creepy, I have to say. The director makes good use of “teasing” the character for a while, to accentuate his design. And even when he comes into full view, he’s still pretty scary. Not to mention, his purpose is pretty damn dark.

Scare Factor: 7/10. Not gonna lie, I thought this was a pretty creepy movie. It had dark tones throughout the feature, and some very well-placed jump scares.

Gore Rating: Barely Bloody Machete (1/5)


As is the case with most spirit/demon movies, there’s not a ton of blood. There’s some creepy entities, sure. But in terms of pure bloodshed, not too much to fret about here.

Overall Rating: 4/5 Whistles


Da Whistles go WOOOO. I think Insidious returns back to its form here, putting out a solid horror flick. With that said, I think Insidious 2 still stands out as the definite best movie in this franchise, so I think that rating should have been higher. But this is a solid entry into the saga, and it’s a pretty creepy film. Something tells me this isn’t the last film in the series, but we’ll see if the franchise continues on. In the meantime, it looks like Blumhouse has a slate of horror coming up, so stay tuned for more spooky flicks.

That’ll wrap up this review of Insidious: The Last Key. If you’re looking for some chills that aren’t caused by the weather, definitely head to the theater to check out this movie. And as always, thanks to everybody who subscribes to the blog! Hopefully I’ll be back soon with more scares.

Until next time, lock those doors…


Demons and Dolls (…and football???)

Posted in Devil, Ghost/Demon with tags , , , on August 15, 2017 by dtrain1008


Did you know that zombies don’t eat popcorn with their fingers? They eat the fingers separately. Hey all you Deadites, welcome back to the Unholy Cathedral. Your source for all things spooky. Er.. maybe, some things spooky… on occasion… maybe. You know, summer is a busy time. I intended to publish this last night, but I literally fell asleep with my laptop on top of me. So I figured I should probably take my time and put something half-way (and I do stress half-way) decent. No hustling whatsoever on this blog. But nonetheless, the Cathedral is back open, and this week we’re looking at a fresh film that just opened this weekend… Annabelle: Creation.

Anabelle: Creation is the work of David F. Sandberg, who’s relatively new to the horror scene, but did release Lights Out last year. And already, he’s earned the right to direct a movie in The Conjuring universe. I’ll go on record and say that any movie in this universe will be getting my money. They’ve yet to let me down. So let’s dive right in and take a look at this weird-ass devil doll.

Annabelle: Creation is the story of a group of young orphan girls who make their way to a new orphanage, along with their caretaker, a nun. The orphanage is a remote home, where a man and his wife reside. But unbeknownst to the girls, this couple has a dark history, having lost their daughter in a tragic accident years ago. Regardless, it’s a nice, big place for the girls to stay, and it seems comfortable at first glance. But the matriarch has been isolated in her room due to an accident, and is therefore ULTRA weird. Also, what’s with the locked room upstairs?

Drop the Malibu Ken doll, and let’s go in for A Closer Look

Random Side note: Last night I learned that one of my friends is legitimately putting in a lot of effort to watch re-runs of Reba. Discuss in the comments.

Villain: A sinister demon using a creepy doll as a conduit, with the intention of stealing little girls’ souls. Gotta pay the troll toll, to get to that girl’s soul.

How Do I Stop It?: Well… should you mistakenly summon an evil entity like this into your house (every Friday night at my house), best bet is to seek help immediately. Weapons aren’t going to do you much good in this fight. Keep a bible handy, and start going to church, ya heathens.

Lessons Learned: Now this might be insensitive, but c’mon. If you lose a loved one, the appropriate reaction is NOT to try and make contact with their dead spirit. And man, kids are so naive. Suppose you’ve seen some REAL weird stuff going on in the last few nights. As in, locked doors opening on their own, and scary things doing more than just bumping in the night. I would certainly hope that you wouldn’t choose to literally go fishing (ghosting?) for spirits with retractable toy gun.

Who Do I Watch With?: This one’s safe for just about anyone who’s okay with some scares. Not too gory or macabre, but it does have some intense moments. Maybe invite your parents out to a movie night. Nothing brings the family together like scaring the crap out of your mom. The Unholy Cathedral: advocate of family bonding.

Movie Trivia: Really not a lot to go on here, other than the director is re-hashing his relationship with a few actors in this movie, from their work on Lights Out. Also, there are multiple references to some other movies in The Conjuring universe throughout the film.

Rating the Flick

Villain: 5/10. Creepy for sure, but we’ve seen this guy before. And a friend pointed out that he’s a lot more visible in this movie, and I think it takes a little bit away from the mystique of him. I’ve seen better, but also seen worse.

Scare Factor: 6/10. Definitely creepy, but not terrifying. There were a few jump scares that got me, but I think in terms of The Conjuring universe, this is the tamest film of the four so far.

Gore Rating: Clean Machete (0/5)!


You’re not getting any blood nor guts here. That machete is prime for some slashing. I think it’s been a while since I’ve seen a really gory movie. Might have to watch Dead Alive! again or something.

Overall Rating: 3 Shrunken Heads


Back to my roots for a change. AnnabelleCreation is pretty solid overall. I enjoyed the film overall, and it has a good ending to tie things together. This one definitely isn’t in my true upper echelon, but I’d say it’s worth the ticket price to see it in theaters. And apparently now with MoviePass, you can see as many movies as you want for $10/month. Man.. I sound like a complete shill now. Not intentional, I promise. Anyway, that’ll wrap up this review of Annabelle: Creation. If you saw it, what did you think? Leave a comment if you liked it (or didn’t)!

Now time for an even more shameless plug. I’m trying to work my way into an exclusive ESPN fantasy football league, and I figure that throwing a shout-out to the official 06010 podcast and TV show on here couldn’t hurt! So if you’re into fantasy football, and you want some equally not-hustling fantasy football analysis, check out the Fantasy Focus podcast, and also The Fantasy Show. It’s a pretty good time. Let’s make The Unholy Cathedral the official horror blog of the 06010!

Until next time, BURN ALL OF THE DOLLS.



Holiday Spirits

Posted in Ghost/Demon with tags , , , , on December 6, 2016 by dtrain1008

krampus0011 Krampus

Well friends, the holiday season is upon us, and what better way to celebrate than with some Christmas-themed horror! The darkest days of the season are here, and today, we’re trying something new. I’m trying out a new idea with this one: audio blogs. That’s right.. this review will mostly be done via an audio recording! I’m providing the ratings overview, but for the sinister details, check out the podcast link below.

Link to Podcast

I hope you enjoy the show, and please let me know what you think in the comments. I might start doing these more frequently moving forward, but if you’d rather I write, feel free to let me know that as well.

So let’s get into it!

Villain: 9/10

Scare Factor: 5/10

Gore Rating: Barely Bloody Machete (1/5)


Overall Rating: 4/5 Snow Globes


Like I said, be sure to check out the audio format, and let me know what you think! It’s short and sweet (only about 12 minutes), so you should be able to listen to it at your leisure. And as always, feel free to send me requests for movies to review. I now have a VERY solid home theater set-up, perfect for all things spooky. So hopefully this will entice me to make more of these.

Anyway, that’ll wrap up this week’s update. If you’re not following me already, make sure you Unleash Hell at the top right to sign up for my e-mail updates. Also, follow me on Twitter at @UnholyCathedral for the latest news and updates from yours truly! If I don’t get back beforehand, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all of you… And beware the holiday spirits…

Until next time, keep the fire hot.




The Crooked Man Cometh

Posted in Ghost/Demon, Uncategorized with tags , , , , on June 14, 2016 by dtrain1008


The Conjuring 2

GREETINGS, friends, and welcome once again to your source for spooky… The Cathedral is back in business, and this time we’re taking a look at a fresh movie on the block. The Conjuring 2 made its terrifying debut this weekend, and after hearing four separate people give positive reviews, I knew I had to see this one.  Now know this… The first Conjuring was one of few movies to get a perfect score on this blog, so needless to say that’s a tough act to follow. And Horror movie sequels in general don’t often succeed, as it were. So I was VERY glad to see this one deliver… Anyway, let’s get into it.

It’s the mid-1970’s, and Ed & Lorraine Warren are investigating one of their darkest, most sinister cases ever in Amityville, New York. The aftermath of that event has left psychological scars on Lorraine. Enough to the point that she’s unwilling to take on any new cases. But elsewhere in the world, a struggling mother is witnessing something happening to her daughter. She’s speaking with the voice of an old man. She’s claiming that someone, or something, is intruding on her room in the night. And her house is slowly getting trashed by an evil spirit.  But she’s probably faking it, right? …….. Right?

I’m wondering how long it’ll take for James Wan to be recognized as one of the better horror directors in history. He’s already the director and/or producer of The Conjuring, Insidious, Saw (and sequels), and Dead Silence. And he’s got a strong docket still coming, including Lights Out, and mulitple Insidious sequels. The dude is legit.  And admittedly, there seems like a very similar tone between the Conjuring and Insidious movies, but they have their differences, and at the end of the day, they’re both pretty damn scary. And that’s the bottom line.

Back to business. Say 10 Hail Mary’s and let’s go in for A Closer Look

Villain: A sinister demon. That’s all you get.

How do I Stop It?: As is the case with the first movie, this is a foul, horrible beast. You’ll need some serious help if you’re confronted with this one.

Lessons Learned: Ok. How do I get this to sink in? Spirit boards are generally not a good idea. So making a spirit board… that’s an even worse idea. If there’s a way to communicate with the dead, leave it to the pros, eh? And another thing. Should you have a nightmare of a particularly creepy spirit, you shouldn’t EVER feel the need to make a painting of said spirit, and hang it on your effing wall! EVER. FO RILL.

Who Do I Watch With?: Anyone who’s up for a good, clean, scary movie. I do recommend bringing someone though. This one’s pretty spooky.

Movie Trivia: On the first day of shooting, an actual priest was brought in to bless the set (creepy trivia!). Also, James Wan turned down an unknown (but claimed to be very large) amount of money to direct Fast 8, in order to direct The Conjuring 2. \m/  \m/

Rating the Flick

Villain: 10/10. Wow this thing is nuts. As good as the demon in the first movie was, I think this one was even scarier. Wan really had a great design for the character(s), and I’m sure they’ll certainly be in a lot of upcoming nightmares.

Scare Factor: Palms doth sweateth (9/10)

This is a pretty long movie by horror standards, and while there are a few slow parts here and there, the scares are also there, the whole time. Be warned, this is a very scary movie.

Gore Rating: Barely Bloody Machete (1/5)


Not much to worry about here. Similar to the first one, basically no gore involved, but as Mr. Wan has shown us, it’s not needed to get you jumping in these films.

Overall Rating: 5/5 Reclinerschairs

….because Chairs! Yes, another perfect score. And I dare say (I dare, I dare!) that The Conjuring 2 is even better than the first movie. It’s just… really really good. The plot development is great, there’s good foreshadowing, subtle references to other films in the saga, and most importantly, straight up scary stuff. Really really solid film here. I don’t really know what else to say, so I think I’m just going to end it on that. If you get a chance, SEE THIS MOVIE IN THEATERS. It’s worth the ticket price.

So that’ll wrap up this review. As it turns out, there’s more horror movies being released in the coming months, so stay tuned. Never know what you might see on here… Oh, and I’ll leave you with this…

Until next time, say your prayers.




Posted in Ghost/Demon, Uncategorized with tags , , , on February 24, 2016 by dtrain1008



A strange video game, where cryptic files are placed on your computer while skeletal spirits hunt you in the dark? All while the spirit is seemlingly logged in and guiding you deeper into the terror within the game? That’s exactly what we’re talking about this week, so let’s take a look at IMSCARED, a Pixelated Nightmare.

Greetings, and welcome once again to the Unholy Cathedral! This blog has officially gone off the rails, but in a good way, in my opinion.

This week we’re doing an Unholy first– a review of a horror video game.  This started a few weeks ago when a chicken friend of mine asked me to play this horror game, because it was getting good reviews on Steam, but he this person didn’t want to play it on their own.  So I told him that he was talking to the right crowd, and told him I’d play it, but he wanted me to stream it on the internet so he (and others) could watch.

So a few nights ago, I did an Unholy Live Stream on twitchtv (follow me at dvo_tron on Twitch), where I streamed myself playing this game for a few hours. I went in with basically no knowledge of what this game was about, other than it was a relatively crude game (think commodore computer graphics), and that there was some interface outside of the game.

As I started the game, I was lost within minutes. Admittedly I had some technical issues at first, but I was having difficulty finding my first “key” to advance into the game. I was walking around some rooms and things to no avail, but when I went to the end of the hall, I heard a creepy laugh, almost as if some effing demon clown had flipped a switch of some sort. And as it turns out, the nice, not-scary hallway now had blood dripping from the walls, and this instantly got creepier.

The good part was that I had multiple friends watching me play on Twitch (mad props to those who watched this debaucle) who were providing clues. But there was another user who I didn’t know, under the username “wh1teface.” And this guy helped me find my first key, that opened a door to the next step in this game. It actually didn’t dawn on me for a little bit that “wh1teface” was skeptically familiar with this game… as it turns out, I eventually ran into whiteface himself, in one of the creepier renditions of “Tag” I’ve ever played. I’m sure you’ll laugh, but so be it. Here’s a snapshot of the game in the parking deck area.


I told you the graphics weren’t great. But I must say, here’s what the game does well. You can only see about 10 feet in front of you. Everything else is pitch black (with some exceptions), but you really just don’t see things coming. And so while you’re stumbling around through the dark, running into pixelated corners, there’s a lot of scary sounds keeping you on edge.

Now for the bad parts. There’s some really frustrating parts to this game, and even wh1teface himself (who was almost certainly the developer of the game, and was helping guide me through the tough parts) admitted that some parts weren’t exactly well-liked, even from their perspective. For instance, there’s a level where you must navigate a large grid, trying to find some music boxes. But beyond the mono audio getting slightly louder, there’s really nothing guiding you through the seemingly massive maze. Oh, and there’s a ghost in there chasing you around as well.

One of the more interesting things about this game (which I touched on a little earlier) is that it’s very existential. That is, in order to advance through the game, you literally have to exit out of the game at some parts and go back in, but when you do re-enter the game, it’s in a different spot than when you left. And the game drops cryptic text files into a folder on your desktop to serve as clues for your next step(s). It’s a very interesting concept, and I liked it overall. But sometimes it was frustrating, especially as I was streaming the game, and the viewers were subjected to a lot of spinning screens as a result.

After a little over 2 hours into the game, I can say this. This game definitely made me jump a few times, and it definitely had some creepy moments, which is very impressive for how simple the game design is. It’s certainly not a “game of the year” contender, but for the purchase price of $2.99, you can’t complain too much.  And where else are you going to play a game where the developer voluntarily watches your live stream and trolls you along the way?

I’m not going to give the normal rating scale for this iteration, but as an overall rating, I’d give this game a 3/5 shrunken heads. It’s scary in the right spots, and very off the beaten path in terms of normal game design. The crypic clues were good, and wh1teface trolling me multiple times as I got stuck or fell for one of the game’s tricks was pretty funny.


So that’s going to wrap up this brief review of IMSCARED. If you ever feel the desire to play a shorter PC game that will likely give you a few scares, this is worth the $3.  So with that said, there’s a bunch more horror games out there, and Im not opposed to hosting a twitch stream again. So feel free to throw movie OR game ideas at me! I think the first stream was a success, and can only improve from there.

As the (so far) mild winter is coming to a close, I’m hoping to have some more scary stuff to review shortly. But still feel free to send me recommendations, and don’t miss hte next live stream! Details will be posted on Twitter, but don’t expect anything “that” soon.

And thanks again to everyone who supported this endeavor. It was a blast having you guys help me out! And also thanks to Whiteface, you undead trickster. No matter how many times you fooled me or killed me, you still made it fun.

Until next time, STAYSCARED



I See My Frans

Posted in Ghost/Demon with tags , , , , on February 8, 2016 by dtrain1008

unfriended_poster Unfriended

Alright chums, let’s do this thing! The now seldomly-opened cathedral has creaked open its decaying doors, and the scares are back. What really sucks is that I’ve watched three or four horror movies in the last few months, but it’s been a hot minute since I saw them, and I wouldn’t feel right posting an out-dated review.  So this week we’re going over the one I saw most recently, Unfriended.

Unfriended is the story of a group of teenagers who witness the horrific suicide of one of their classmates, and friends.  Fast forward one year later, and the group of friends has done a pretty good job of moving on.  But one girl is still coping with the loss of her good friend, unbeknownst to the rest of the group.  Anyway, they get together on a skype call one evening (apparently skype is the AIM of 2015?) to hang out.  But there’s an unknown guest on the call as well… and this unknown guest is making some scary threats. And what’s going on with their computers? Dun dun DUNNNNNNN.

HANG UP DAT VIDEO CONFERENCE… and let’s log in for A Closer Look

Villain: A sinister spirit seeking virtual vengeance (+1 for alliteration combo!)

How Do I Stop It?: Well, two ways. First, be a decent human being. I know, I know. Really solid advice. And second? Shut it down!

Lessons Learned: Posting shame videos of your friends on the internet isn’t the way to go, kids. This message is brought to you by famous people everywhere. And Mexico. I think the real lesson is that social media is the devil. Damn you, Zuckerberg.

Who Do I Watch With?: Well hopefully if you’re watching this, you’re either a horror junkie, or a 15-year old kid on a date.  This is a classic teen romp.

Movie Trivia: All of the facebook and skype accounts in the movie exist, and can be found on their respective sites. Also the whole movie was completed as one long shot, with the actors on real computers in separate rooms of a house.

Rating the Flick

Villain: 1/10. This villain is one step short of a Wayans Bros. movie. It’s like Jigsaw from Saw had a teenage kid, but rather than come up with clever torture traps, he/she was just an internet troll. Do better, horror filmmakers.

Scare Factor: 3/10. As far as scares go, there aren’t many. I’ll admit it’s mildly entertaining to see how the story shakes out and watch these kids suffer, but at the end of the day it’s just not very scary.

Gore Rating: Barely Bloody Machete (1/5)


Just a touch of blood in here, as there’s one or two slightly gruesome scenes. But for the most part Unfriended is pretty tame.

Overall Rating: 0/5 AIM Away Messagesaway_message Because we should all reflect on the best messaging software that ever was. Regardless of those CDs that AOL would send you in the mail. See, this is why this movie is bad. I can’t even talk about the horror. I just want to talk about Netscape Navigator and trollface. Unfriended is Unworthy of this blog, and yet here I am. Must be winter.

That’ll wrap up this review, but stay tuned. Who knows, maybe 3 months from now I’ll be back, hopefully with a much scarier movie.  But in the meantime, feel free to throw some horror recommendations my way! Hope you’re all staying warm this winter.